Transformation is a funny thing. You never know where, when, or under what circumstance it will tap you on the shoulder and ask you to look directly and deeply into your soul. It causes you to be quiet and savor what really is. I hesitate to call my experience the "dark night of the soul" because there were so many aspects of it that were filled with grace and peace. Angels were present.

I had just finished taking a Yoga workshop in Durango. The day was mild: shorts weather. Three of us headed back to Denver and within three hours of leaving Durango found ourselves in the middle of a raging Spring snowstorm. We continued on as we were driving a 4-wheel drive vehicle. The driving was slow and we were extra careful as we drove toward the mountain range which separated us from arriving in Denver.

Visibility was poor and we were certain we saw a snow-covered sign which said "Road Damage". We slowed down even more. No sooner than we did slow down, we ran into a hole so deep I bounced in my seat even with my seatbelt on. The next thing we knew we were sliding sideways out of control toward a bridge. That sliding was the beginning of the greatest challenge of my life to date. I settled back into the seat, held on, and began to breathe deeply.

My next memory was a crash, rolling, my leg turning numb, and we were at the bottom of a 10-15' incline upside down next to a small river. My driving companions started asking questions as soon as we discovered that we could all talk and move. I stated that my leg was numb and most likely badly broken. Upon getting me out of the car the discovery was made that my right lower leg was no longer attached to my body. Seemingly there were no other injuries.

As I lay there in the snow, looking skyward at the beauty of the crystals and colors filling the sky I thought that perhaps this was my time to die; to let go into the mercy and grace of the beyond. Blood rushed from my body as we used yoga props to effect a tourniquet and used the snow to slow the flow of blood.

My entire life changed that night; it wasn't what I thought would happen to me at this stage of my life. It feels to me now, more than four years later, that I was given a second chance at this life and its challenges. Almost like God was saying, "Here's how you have lived up until now; here is what you can do with your life from now to the end - whenever that is."

I had been doing vipassana meditation regularly since 1987 and practicing yoga and pranayama since 1971, teaching since 1980. I am so thankful that I had been in a yoga workshop that morning working with pranayama and focusing as my mind, body, breath began to work as one, at once. The accident, loss of my leg, and the ensuing hours it took to get me down the mountain to the hospital was meditation in action; it became my practice. I focused, watched my breath which was even and light, and stayed present with the experience all the way into the emergency room in Denver.

Transformation is a continuous process of deepening our understanding about the world and the conditioned reactions we have in our minds. Recognizing these deeply felt conditions and becoming more aware of our actions because of these conditions is how to be free from suffering through the skillfull use of this awareness. The hospital recovery and ongoing home rehabilitation in the past four years have definitely deepened my understanding and changed my response to the world in which I live and the people with whom I interact.

My yoga is stronger and more peaceful. My meditation is clearer, my mind more quiet. My spirit is kinder and filled with more compassion. I feel more sympathetic joy for all sentient beings and strongly trust our capacity for loving kindness more than ever before. I feel the state of equanimity far more often than before and clearly recognize that all experiences are there for our deeper learning. With mindfulness, I am an active participant in unfolding my own internal Lotus flower; connecting head with heart: Om Mane Padme Hung.

Namasté